


Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

by IllegalKittens



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, F/F, That one episode where meredith finds addison crying in a closet lmao, if i continue this it will get pretty Gay just sayin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 23:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllegalKittens/pseuds/IllegalKittens
Summary: Meredith explains to Addison what was going through her head during the prom.Second person, one-shot for now.





	Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

You don’t mean to stumble in on her like this, to see her stripped and vulnerable, to see her eyes streaked with mascara that probably cost more than your first apartment. It’s like a shot of cold water right between your eyes to see this powerful, long-legged, kind she-devil wrapped up in such a painfully personal ordeal; she’s suddenly ripped from the pedestal. The shock of seeing someone so much larger than life act so bluntly human is almost incomprehensible.

 

Yet, Addison Montgomery, no longer Shepherd, manages to pull off the  _ Just Had a Good Cry In a Broom Closet  _ look quite well, to her credit.

 

“Weren’t you  _ just  _ up on three?” She asks, her face shameless. You’re almost taken aback —had  _ your  _ ex-husband’s dirty mistress walked in on you, the mortification would be too much to measure properly.

 

“There was a patient…” You trail off. “Are you okay?”

 

Addison’s lips curl into a bitter smile, the kind that radiates such false sweetness that you almost stop breathing. You feel like you really had to have fucked up to be the one to receive it.

 

Well, God knows you’ve fucked up more than sex on a hot air balloon.

 

You remind yourself that this isn’t the time for puns.

 

“Look, why don’t you pick a floor and stay on it,” She says, “and I’ll pick a floor and stay on that?”

 

“Of course,” You respond and then turn to leave before stopping.

 

“There was something I wanted to say to you,” You tell her quietly, facing away because you aren’t sure how she’ll react, but you  _ are  _ sure she’s got deadlier looks than a smile. 

 

Slowly, you turn to face her, because you’re an adult, damn it, and you’re going to have a real, adult conversation with this woman—you’re gonna stop avoiding shit and say the words you owe to her.

 

Addison sighs, another tear flicks graciously from her eye. “Go ahead, Grey,” She says, and it’s all you can do not to gasp in relief.

 

“I just wanted you to know—” You start, but then a stone settles in your stomach and you realize that carrying an adult conversation requires actually knowing what to say to this woman. This broken, beautiful, powerful woman.

 

What could you even say to her that would be worth her time? In that moment, you curse whoever invented the English language for not including the proper words you needed to convey how truly sorry you were. You had never felt such an emotion so genuinely or as heavily and to articulate that feeling seemed impossible by human standards, let alone Addison Montgomery standards.

 

What could you say, if even just to scratch the surface? I’m sorry I put those tears in your eyes? 

 

I’m sorry I was ever conceived?

 

Seeming to sense your mental impasse, Addison begins to dismiss you. You stay.

 

“I’m sorry you found out the way you did,” You blurt, and it’s a start.

 

“So am I.”

 

“I just…” You flail for words, just for a moment, before marching on dutifully, “with Derek… avoidance doesn’t work. Mentally and physically.”

 

She winces, but there isn’t any stopping you now.

 

“He’s alluring. He’s charming. He’s… McDreamy. You know it. You married him. He gets in your head like a little worm, and I’m a doctor, so I should know how to get this stupid, sexy little worm out of my head but… you can’t. It’s an incurable worm.”

 

At this point you don’t know if you’re even making sense. Then again, if you convince her you’re a crazy person, maybe she won’t hold you accountable for fucking Derek.

 

“And then you try to run away from him—physically, I mean—and he chases you. You have a one night stand, he convinces you to be his girlfriend. You find out he has a wife, he defends himself. Constantly. Then you make eye-contact with him at a prom and this time, when you run, you almost want him to follow. And he does. He always… He just follows.

 

“All the while you’ve got this  _ God-damn _ worm in your brain who’s making you all loopy and acting all love sick, and then a minute goes by and you’re looking for your panties and the worm is leaving the room after asking a bunch of dumb-ass questions like  _ what does this mean?  _ and by God, you have no fucking idea!”

 

“Are you going somewhere with this metaphor or are you just trying to shove the fact that you had sex with my husband in my face?” Addison asks, and you’re surprised to hear that she isn’t particularly angry.

 

But, then again, she’s always surprising you, isn’t she?

 

“I just… It feels… Important to me. That you know all this,” You tell her earnestly, and you realize that you’re wringing your hands together painfully. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t know what I was thinking when it happened. I  _ wasn’t _ thinking. And I know that’s what everyone says, that they weren’t thinking, but I really wasn’t, and I just thought you should know… that.”

 

It’s a lame finish to your lame speech, but it was the truth, at least. 

 

“That’s all?”

 

“Yes… No, actually. I just wanna say—I don’t really know why I did what I did. It’s like, one minute Derek’s calling me a whore, telling me he’s sick by the sight of me, I tell him to leave me the hell alone, and the next minute… In the next minute I’m ready to throw myself in front of a train just to get him to smile at me.”

 

She’s quiet and you’re pretty much sure you’ve crossed a line or two. What the hell were you thinking, telling her how much you love him? And trying to tell her that you don’t have any fucking idea why you sexed up her husband is definitely a fantastic way to explain yourself.

 

But when you look at her, she’s nodding. She sniffles a little, wipes her cheeks elegantly, and speaks. “ You know, I needed that.”

 

You never understood how people would describe relief as hitting them like a wave, but then you really did. 

 

She stands, reaches for the door, but looks at you first. “You know, it’s funny, Meredith. We fight over this man who’s really never fought for either of us.”

 

And then she’s gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> uuhh i meant for there to be a kiss in here but it's already p unrealistic so : )
> 
> i was rewatching like seasons 1-3 (the best seasons imo because this gay bitch loves Addison Forbes-Montgomery) and i was thirsty 4 more addison & mer scenes oof
> 
> PLEASE write fics for these two,, im desperate and gay


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